And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table… stood at his feet behind him weeping; and she began to wash his feet with her tears… .

Glory to Jesus Christ! Glory forever!

Forgive me, the sinner. God forgives, and I forgive.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Brethren, as the Sunday of the Last Judgment has already reminded us—someday, we will each stand before Christ to give an account of our lives (cf. Rom 14:12). The Apostle writes:

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive his due for the things done in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Cor 5:10).

This echoes the preaching of our Lord in St. Matthew’s Gospel, “But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matt 12:36). Indeed, the Scriptures make it abundantly clear—we will have to confront our words and our deeds, and to give an explanation for both, before the Master of All. (pause) What will we say? What will we do?

If you have never engaged in such spiritual exercise, I would encourage you to do so. Envision it; imagine it: what will you say before Christ when he asks, “Son, daughter, give an account for your life. Give an account for your time wasted in leisure. Give an account of every purchase—every self-indulgent, unnecessary purchase. Give an account of every word spoken in anger—to friends, to coworkers, to spouses and children. Give an account of every word spoken in gossip, in judgment, in envy, in hate. Give an account of every selfish decision. Give an account of alms withheld. Give an account of every sin.” (pause) What will we say? What will we do?

It is terrifying, brethren, how firm a grip our habits have on us. It is so easy to say, “Well, I would apologize, duh! I would weep before Christ! I would beg for his mercy. I would kiss his feet and wash them with my tears!” (cf. Luke 7:38). But is that what we do in this life? When we become aware of a sin, do we repent, or do we justify it? Does not every sin come with some degree of justification? We justify what we do, at least to ourselves, at least internally. “I was hungry for chocolate—that’s why I broke the fast, okay? So-and-so been a real pain in my butt lately, that’s why I’m ignoring them, that’s why I didn’t answer their text, okay? I have bills to pay, I need a little ‘me time,’ some ‘self care,’ some ‘self love,’ that’s why I didn’t give to the temple this week, okay? I’m stressed out; I just need to binge some Netflix, that’s why I couldn’t make it to Vespers, okay?”

Our bad habit is to defend our sins. Again: our bad habit is to defend our sins. This is pride. This. is. pride. To admit sin is to admit a deficiency of character. To admit sin is humiliating. To admit sin feels weak and vulnerable. Justifying sin is easy work. The deed has already been done. Who cares if we can only give a half-baked defense? “Made me feel good,” that’s what matters. But the hard work of wrestling with our sin, of admitting wrong and correcting ourselves—this is the work of repentance. Repentance is humility. Repentance is an admission of need; it is an emptying of self to make room for the saving grace of God. Repentance is metanoia, a “turning around; a change of mind.” Repentance is to step off the wide path which leads to destruction (cf. Matt 7:13) which leads to the “pig paddock of the foreign land” (cf. Luke 15:13-16) and to return to the house of our Father.

Brethren, the Sundays of the Triodion—the Sunday of the Publican and the Pharisee (“O God, have mercy on me, the sinner,” Luke 18:13a), the Sunday of the Prodigal Son (“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you…,” Luke 15:21), the Sunday of the Last Judgment, the Sunday of the Expulsion from Paradise, … the Sunday of St. John Climacus; and today, the Sunday of St. Mary of Egypt (“And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table… stood at his feet behind him weeping; and she began to wash his feet with her tears…,” Luke 7:37a, 38)—each [Sunday] reminds us: the way to the Kingdom of Heaven is the way of repentance. There is no other way. We can debate all the prerequisites of salvation—Baptism, Chrismation, the receiving of the Eucharist—but is there any soteriology which excludes this one needful thing? Repentance. Repentance. Repentance.

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matt 3:2).

“Bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (Matt 3:8).

“Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes!” (Matt 11:21).

“I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:32).

“I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).

“Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:10).

“This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations…” (Luke 24:46b-47).

“And Peter said to [the crowds], ‘Repent and be baptized everyone one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…’” (Acts 2:38).

Brethren, there is no defense of our sins which will hold water before the judgement seat of Christ! Get any consideration of this out of your minds! When you envision yourself before Christ, envision yourself in one act, in one posture, in one self-effacing state of mind and body—prostrate, weeping, begging, kissing! “How humiliating!” Exactly! But “humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up,” says St. James (4:10). Conversely,

“… [the Lord] has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones,

But has lifted up the humble” (Luke 1:51b-52).

The proud man will be humbled. The humble man will be exalted. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (1 Pet 5:5).

Today, brethren, we remember a saint most known for her humility, which is really saying something, because earlier in her life she would have been most known for something else. Mary was a prostitute, a harlot—an unbridled spirit of lust and fornication. I am sure you all know her story, but to recount it briefly: she was born in Egypt and lost her virginity at the age of twelve. In her own words to the priest Zosimas:

“For more than seventeen years I lived like that and I did it all for free. … To me, life consisted in the satisfaction of my fleshly lust.

One summer I saw a crowd of people from Libya and Egypt heading toward the sea. They were on their way to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. I also wanted to sail with them. Since I had no food or money, I offered my body in payment for my passage. And so, I embarked on the ship.

I arrived in Jerusalem and spent all the days before the Feast living the same sort of life, and maybe even worse. When the holy Feast of the Exaltation of the Venerable Cross of the Lord arrived, I went about as before, looking for young men. At daybreak I saw that everyone was heading to the church, so I went along with the rest. When the hour of the Holy Elevation drew nigh, I was trying to enter the church with all the people. With great effort I came almost to the doors and attempted to squeeze inside. Although I stepped up to the threshold, it was as though some force held me back, preventing me from entering… .

Then I realized that it was my sins that prevented me from seeing the Life-Creating Wood. The grace of the Lord then touched my heart. I wept and lamented, and I began to beat my breast. Sighing from the depths of my heart, I saw above me an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. Turning to Her, I prayed: ‘O Lady Virgin, who gave birth in the flesh to God the Word! I know that I am unworthy to look upon your icon. I rightly inspire hatred and disgust before your purity, but I know also that God became man in order to call sinners to repentance. Help me, O All-Pure One. Let me enter the church. Allow me to behold the Wood upon which the Lord was crucified in the flesh, shedding His Blood for the redemption of sinners, and also for me. Be my witness before Your Son that I will never defile my body again with the impurity of fornication. As soon as I have seen the Cross of your Son, I will renounce the world, and I will go wherever you lead me’” (“Venerable Mary of Egypt,” The Lives of the Saints, oca.org; emphases mine).

“I rightly inspire hatred and disgust…, but I know also that God became man in order to call sinners to repentance.” Brethren, St. Mary’s disposition ought to be our disposition. St. Mary’s hope—“but I know… that God became man in order to call sinners to repentance”—ought also to be our hope.

“Do not despair if you keep falling into your old sins. Many of them are strong because they have received the force of habit. Only with the passage of time and with fervor will they be conquered. Do not let anything deprive you of hope” (St. Nektarios of Aegina).

“This life has been given to you for repentance; do not waste it in vain pursuits” (St. Isaac the Syrian).

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, O Lord, Jesus Christ, our God, have mercy on us and save us. Amen.

Glory to Jesus Christ! Glory forever!